BPSDB
Not in London,
nor visiting a Queen
.
HUGE, HUGE, HUGE thanks to S2, truesceptic and all the others who worked to keep this space going. I am truly grateful and nothing I ever do can repay the debt I owe you. You are awesome people of the highest order.
You are also owed an explanation, but I fear it is rather mundane and dreary (and not even in the least bit sordid, which might have spiced it up a bit and made this more entertaining for you).
Last fall I got myself seriously overextended with the run up to Copenhagen, the Justice Fast hunger strike, involvement in local organizing, etc. A great many aspects of the rest of my life went unattended; things on the proverbial back burner metaphorically first simmered dry and then simply burnt to a crisp. Just about every aspect of my life was a shambles and I was exhausted physically and emotionally.
It was within this context that my ancient computer finally packed it in entirely. For a variety of reasons replacing it took almost 2 months and I attempted to struggle along with an ancient laptop, but I was only managing a fraction of what I needed to get done. Coupled with my then state of emotional exhaustion things began to really fall apart.
My intention was always to “get it together” and then return to this space when I could reliably begin working on the blog regularly, a prospect that I continually told myself was only a week or two away – three at most. I am not saying that this was realistic, merely that I actually believed it.
However, rather than coming together, “it” stubbornly insisted on continuing to unravel. This past year has been series of largely unexpected demands involving (at various times) my personal health, the health of someone for whom I am an important support, legal matters, financial crises, and a series of rather more trivial things that nonetheless had to be priorities (eg basement flooded with raw sewage; definitely not something you can simply ignore, nor is it dealt with in an afternoon or two). And so days turned into weeks turned into months.
Along the way there have been repeated abortive attempts to return. They all began with an attempt to get a handle on the various draft articles in progress (300 to 400 hundred ranging from mostly written to merely a few links and a couple of jotted notes), the collection of bookmarks (5,000? 10,000? 15,000? I have no idea), comments on the blog itself (many) and to catch up with what’s going on in the the climate blogosphere.
Bear in mind that a great deal of my ability to write rests on being able to remember where I had seen information and what that information was. Yet here I was at a point where I could no longer remember even in which post I had written about given topics, never mind whether Stoat, Tamino or Jules had a good post about it.
Needless to say given everything else that has been going on each attempt collapsed. Worse, as more time passed the perceived need to return with a splash and really have my rear in gear increased, thereby completely undermining the next attempt.
At the same time I have been struggling with the Post-Climategate/Copenhagen question of “what now?” Truth and reason were clearly not winning the day. Indeed it seems at times that the more idiotic and ridiculous a Denier claim is, the more likely it is to be popular and influential. The apparent public desperation to sustain their illusions seemed to mean that the Denialosphere could not say anything so stupid or transparently false that it would not be believed.
Given that, what should my role be? where would I be most effective? continue with science blogging? return to using popular education to teach organizing? go back to street organizing?
Certainly the climate blogosphere was not what it had been when Greenfyre started. Two years ago one could comfortably review the news of the day in an hour or two, research a topic in 2 to 4 hours and then write. Now I cannot even get through the good blogs in that amount of time, much less finish a post.
The explosion of good blogs raised another serious issue with respect to Greenfyre’s contribution. What had been a comfortable little village had become a sprawling metropolis where even I was confused by the volume of information. How much more so then for the average person just trying to figure out the issue?
Would adding even more raise the quality (however incrementally), or just the volume? Did I have something unique or valuable to offer? or would Greenfyre’s be just another climate blog? The axiom of information science viz ‘the mediocre resource that you can find beats the excellent resource that you can’t’ seemed pertinent.
So if I were to stay internet based, what format should I use? Stay with science blogging? Would videos like a la Peter Sinclair be more effective? or machinima? podcasts? a climate wiki? an online climate information guide?climate organizing through social media? etc.
And what focus? climate science as before? formal politics (ie legislation, policy etc)? grassroots politics? other?
In one way or another I have been exploring all of these options, from learning video editing software and camera techniques, following climate legislation and researching information management software.
Yet another concern has been what I am becoming as a result of doing this. Greenfyre is a particular voice that, at best, does not tolerate fools gladly and calls a spade a spade. Too often it is angry, a reflection of the frustration and rage that I experience dealing with the intellectual “special needs” children that dominate the Dumbosphere (case in point – you can tell the Dali Lama did not write that sentence).
That is not who I want to be, so the question also needed to be asked whether I could continue with this and still do the real work of being human. Indeed, how does one do that at all given our situation?
All of this ruminating is going to be grist for the Greenfyre mill, or at least I hope so.
So I’m back. The backlog of drafts is not organized nor the bookmarks sorted. I have no idea if I can sustain this, nor even what “this” may become.
None of the questions I have been struggling with have been answered, but I am no longer making any progress with them so it is time to do something regardless.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
This warming trend has been particularly pronounced during the pre-monsoon month of May, which is now on average 4.9 degrees Fahrenheit warmer than it was in the late 1970’s. The Indian Ocean warmed to a much lesser extent during this period, enhancing the temperature gradient between the ocean and the land. Earth Gauge
We give our consent every moment that we do not resist.
IMAGE CREDITS:
Gay Pride March ~ Piccadilly, London by cromacom
the mess that is my computer right now by Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL)
Confused chimp by Tambako the Jaguar
City meditation by khalid almasoud
the mind´s lake ( about meditation ) by all-i-oli ( Jordi@photos )
Welcome back, I hope that everything is now progressing forward for you and that we will be able to read many more of your thought provoking posts.
Cheers.
Hooray! Glad to see you back. You may not be sure what your role should be, but your voice is important nonetheless.
Aye, welcome back. 🙂
It’s just good to know that you’re still alive!
Missed you…
Nice to have you back. And YES, we need your voice more than ever. I think the combination of climate science, politics and even philosophical considerations in your writing is just to good and unique yo go untapped.
This comment has been moved to “Dunces Corner: This is what Denialism looks like” for violating this sites comments policy and meeting the criteria stated on that page.
Excellent to see you back, Mike. Your insight and forthright commentary have been missed.
> Too often it is angry, a reflection of the frustration and rage that I experience…
Nothing wrong with that. Those of us who grasp what is happening and have a shred of decency have every right to be very angry – and every justification to express it. Say it like you feel it.
All the best.
This comment has been moved to “Dunces Corner: This is what Denialism looks like” for violating this sites comments policy and meeting the criteria stated on that page.
Haha, awesome use of my old computer 🙂
Would that be, Salvador ‘Dali’ Lama? 😉 I suppose it’s a good sign that you recognize you are not the Dalai Lama.
You know, anger is a natural and motivating source of energy for changing a situation for the better. No question about it.
On the other hand, chronic hostility is ineffective. It is rampant on the internet. It looks like compulsive posting, excessive interpersonal aggression, expressions of being overwhelmed, and feelings of helplessness. None of that’s going to solve any problems or clarify the issues. Maybe it’s not healthy, either, since it reflects an unrealistic view of oneself and others.
Saying only what I think… some people may feel that they don’t want to work with you anymore until they see that you want to responsibly or reliably administer this blog. S2 and others went above and beyond, despite your choice to have no communication with them. Abandoning your blog for so long, for whatever reasons, left it open to repetitive denier spam, and prolonged personal attacks and stalking of regulars. Perhaps that should not be repeated?
In solidarity.
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Hey, welcome back, pleased to see it – and thanks, this post was actually quite helpful to me.
All the best.
Chr